My Best Friend's Girl
by Jacobzlover
Summary: Want to date your Best Friend? The one you've always loved,but she says that she doesn't see you that way? Hire Jacob Black aka the Ass****. Guarantee to get your girl or your money back. Rated M for language and maybe future lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**My Best Friend's Girl.**

_**A/N: These are not my characters and this isn't entirely my plot. I own nothing, just the joy of seeing my Jake in different situations.**_

**Chapter 1 Meet Mr. Dickhead**

"_Damn baby you feisty, Oh and I love when you sway those hips for me."_ The tall dark and sexy man named Jake said, trailing behind a pretty blond that was fiddling with her keys, rushing to enter her apartment.

"_Hey now there's no need to rush baby Jakey's Alpha will be in your mouth in due time._"

Ugh the girl disgruntled loudly at his rude disgusting advances. After finally getting the door open she turns to face him while he's lighting up a joint and takes a hit.

While holding in the smoke he passes it to her, _"You're so uptight, I bet if a stick a coal up your ass you'd shit out the hope diamond in a week. So here take a hit and relax Jake's here to take good care of you." _

She huffed "_OMG_" and slammed the door in his face. He took another puff with a cocky grin on his face and counted to five. Almost done, he told himself while flicking the joint towards the sidewalk and returning to knock on the door with a familiar beat. _Dun dudda dun dun, dun dun._ The outraged women reopened the door staring at this insane man and yelled.

"_What_!" She questioned.

"_The door must have been accidently closed and locked by the wind_" He annoyingly stated, egging the infuriated lady on. "_Any who, I was thinking that maybe we can start with a blowjob, obviously._" He winks at her and smiles. _"I won't deprive you of that privilege; I know how much women love sucking cock, especially one as succulent as mine."_

He continued his bantering, while reaching for a Newport and sparking it.

"_Afterwards we can move on to some of the nastier kinky stuff, I'll call over some off my homeboys to participate in a gangbang, maybe some double penetration, and you'll love it. We'll have you screaming in no time, especially with the monster cocks we're sporting."_

Then he leans his forearm on the door frame crossing one leg over the other, "_You ready for the best part? When we're all done destroying your oral orifices we will release all of our jizz on your face. So what do you say? Doesn't that sound promising?"_ He finished while blowing smoke in her face and biting his lip.

After looking at him in astonishment for ten seconds she spits out, _"You fucking Asshole!"_

She slams the door shut again. He laughs and knocks again.

The women reopens the door wondering what the attractive yet biggest dickhead she has ever met could possibly be thinking in that thickheaded brain of his. He must be insane; he couldn't possibly think this was acceptable behavior.

Once the door was wide open and the blond stared at him in a shocked expression he asked pouting. "_I don't mean to be rude sweet cheeks but what is wrong? You seem upset, I can't help but think that maybe I did something wrong_?" He tilted his head to the side like a puppy dog playing the innocent card.

"_Is something wrong? How about I tell you ten things you did_?" She yelled. Replaying the god awful date they just had in her mind she began stating all his unruly actions.

1: Everything that just came out your mouth just now, including the sexual suggestions.

2: You asked me to go half on gas with you.

3: Before you dropped me off, not only did you drive recklessly.

4: But you where on the phone with your ex girlfriend,

5: discussing the fact that you slept with her sister but that it was okay because it was dark and thought it was her.

6: On top of that you impregnated them both and expressed how little you cared by informing them of the donation you were planning on making to Planned Parenthood in her honor.

7: The restaurant we went to has probably not had a health inspection ever.

8: Then you told the waiter to bring me a salad, that I needed to avoid fried foods. Implying that I'm fat.

9: On our drive to the restaurant you played loud obnoxious rap music that degraded and insulted all women and

10: Lastly when we first introduced ourselves you hugged me and squeezed my ass.

So I'd have to say that everything you did and said tonight was completely inappropriate and unbelievably the worst date I have ever been on in my entire life. Now, leave me alone, erase my number and GO FUCK YOURSELF!" She finished slamming the door shut. I turned around suppressing a laugh. I opened my phone and dialed one of my many clients.

"_Hey man, I just dropped her off. I suggest you get your ass over here quickly to console her from the worst date she's ever had. Remember the more she hates me the more she'll realize she loves you. Did you drop off the money with Quil at the bar? Alright, I'll let you go, let me know how it turns out_."

I shut the phone, jumped in my car and started the engine. Making my way back to my house. I know what you guys must be thinking, who the fuck is this asshole? And what makes him think he can just disrespect women, the way he just did?

Well first I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Jacob Black aka Asshole, prick, douche bag, dickhead. You name it, I've been called it. I'm a Native American born and raised in La Push, WA. While growing up I caught a lot of attention from the opposite sex, women would throw themselves at me left and right. I mean who wouldn't? I'm 6'3 weigh 205 lbs of pure raw muscle. With no fat located anywhere on this rock hard body. I'm tan and I have a killer panty dropping smile. (So I've been told) Unfortunately, I was majorly shy. So I was clueless when it came to what women wanted. I started dating having no trouble attaining a girl, but keeping them, that was a problem. I always gave my all when it came to my girl's from picking flowers, to love letters, hell even romantic moonlight dinners on the beach. But what did that get me? Nothing but a broken heart. After falling deeply in love with my first "real" girlfriend Jessica, I found out I was being played. I caught her in her bed with the town's biggest asshole ever Paul. He was a disrespectful, disgusting and a major jerk. Months after our breakup, Jessica explained how she never meant to hurt me but that she only saw me as her best friend. Her explanation was like a punch in the gut. I gave her everything and still came out losing.

A few months later I lost my mom, she was killed by a drunk driver. My father, who was in the car with my mom, was paralyzed and depressed. This forced me to become a man quickly. I had to make money to pay the bills and maintain the house, while my older twin sister's abandoned us. I was good with my hands, and cars. So I began doing mechanic work, but I soon realized that in order to make sufficient funds I'd have to quit school and work full time. That was unacceptable in my eyes. I wanted more and would only achieve that by graduating high school and getting a degree. So I had to way my options and explore other qualities I possessed that would help pay the bills on a part time basis. That's when the idea came to mind. I thought of my previous relationship and the end result, which always proved that the good looking asshole got the girl in the end and the best friend was pushed aside. As they say, nice guys finish last. So I decided I would be the asshole and like I mentioned before, my looks helped attain the girls. This brings me to my current position. I date for money. Good guys from all over the globe paid me to date their best friend. All I had to do was act like an asshole and give them the date from hell, leaving them vulnerable, running into the arms of their best friend for comfort. Then it was up to them to prove that they were the right man for her.

So you see everyone wins in the end. The good guy gets his girl, hence finishing first for once. The girl see's what in front of her and I get paid. This gives me the satisfaction of helping my fellow men that have been pushed into the best friend category, like myself.

After finishing the date I decided I needed a little release and I had to pick up my money. I went to the neighborhood bar that two of my good friends owned, Quil and Emmett. I played a few rounds of pool with them and drank a few beers. When I decided it was time to go, I had to get back into my asshole role. The cute waitress caught my eye and I gracefully approached her passing many horny women that were eye fucking me. I noticed she was with a girlfriend and I couldn't help but fuck with her too.

I slid up to the bar in between the two. I stared at the waitress checking her out.

"_Damn, look at you all white and thin, I bet if I laid you on this bar she could snort you."_ I smiled and gave a sarcastic laugh after pointing at her friend. _"You know many people would be concerned about your health being so dangerously thin and all, but not me, what concerns me is the fact that you keep eating those peanuts, which will make you gain some pounds. So I'm kindly reminding you to put down the peanuts and keep your head in the game. Because you can't compare something that taste good, as looking good."_ I grabbed the peanuts and pushed them towards her friend, placing my back to her face.

"_Look you asshole, how can you even begin to talk to her_-" I cut her off.

"_Easy there Hefty, if you'd be more concerned about your eating habits you'd probably have the attention of some fine looking gentleman such as myself, instead of being in the company of that tasty cheese burger and fries_." He almost cried and yelled at me. _"I just had a child_!"

I bawled back at her "_Well Congratulations, I'm sure he was delicious because it looks like you downed the whole thing_." I laughed "_You're an asshole!"_ She yelled while walking away.

The waitress repeated her friends works right back at me, "_You really are an asshole_." She said towards me and I leaned on the bar popping a peanut in my mouth. I turned towards her with my eyebrow cocked and a sexy smirk, "_So walk away." _I stared at her biting my lip gazing her body with my lust filled chocolate brown eyes. She stood there staring back at me with contemplated look in her eyes.

Ten minutes later I was in my car making my way towards my house, with the waitress's mouth on my cock concentrating on my driving.

**A/N: Let me know if you'd like to read some more or if you'll enjoy this story. Feedback is important, It'll help decide if I should pursue this story or not. Thanks**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Sorry for the wait, haven't had the time and truthfully I've been kind of lazy. :P  
****No seriously though, there have been family problems, yadda, yadda. Enjoy.  
****Thanks to all the reviews I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter.**

**Chapter 2: My Best friend**

BPOV

"_Vrrrrrr"_ I quickly shut the blender off after realizing how loud it was, especially when it's six in the morning and happen to have a very bitchy roommate, that sleeps right next to the kitchen.

"_OMG, you fucking cunt, WTF?" It's six in the fucking morning, why the fuck are you up?" _I stared at her and mouth the words sorry during her rambling and poured myself a cup of the banana protein shake. She rubbed her eyes and lit up a cigarette, while plopping her ass in the stool that was at the counter.

"_Sorry Lee Lee, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm just so excited, they called me from my office. They found a liter of cubs in the forest close to La Push. You know that in order to pick them up and get to the shelter at SE Tenino by the time it opens that I have to leave Forks bright and early. It's almost a four hour drive and I want to take advantage and spend the day there."_

"_Seriously your like crazy, insane, OCD, Alpha Dog, cyborg, crazy creature when it comes to your fucking wolf obsession, seriously I don't get it. Why you bother to dedicate you free time to saving wildlife animals is beyond me." _She stated while gesturing with her fingers that I was nuts.

"_Leah, don't start with me today. You know exactly how important this is too me and why it's so important too me as well. So please just be supportive and understanding." _I concluded placing the blender in the sink at the same time as the doorbell rang.

"_Besides it's been over two months since I've been able to go back to the shelter, this time I won't be dragging you along with me, there is someone who is equally as obsessed as me and will be joining me." _I walked to answer the door and grabbed my bag along the way, with Leah in tow.

"_Let's see what loser, is trying to make his way inside your grandma panties."_

Leah said before I opened the door,

"_Leah, be nice, not all men are interested in getting laid. Beside's Edward is a sweetheart, he's my best friend. He is genuinely as dedicated to this cause. Anyways' I already told him that I was only interested in him as a friend."_

"_Good morning Bella, Leah." _Edward stated as I opened the door.

"_Hey Eddy boy, didn't realize you were a wolf boy" _Leah laughed.

"_Yeah can't get enough of those cute little snouts." _Edward affirmed

Leah rolled her eyes, she knew how desperate Edward was to get together with Bella. He was even trying to kiss Bella's ass by pretending to be an animal lover. He's been drooling over her and consistent ever since he started working for her as her vet tech. Bella was clueless, she really did see him as just a good friend.

_Bye Lee, I'll see you tonight." She stated while closing the door._

_

* * *

_

(Same day, back at Edwards apartment 5:00 am)

_Knock Knock _Edward knocked on his roommates door with his foot_._

Jake opened the room door wearing a towel and a cigarette in his mouth

"_Not the secret knoooock" _He said jokingly while re closing the door back in his friends face.

Eddie knocked again three times and Jake re opened the door.

"_That's the one, now what the fuck is going on? I'm busy_" Jake chuckled. Edward made his way into his friends room with a crate full of porn in his hand.

"_I need to stash these in your room, tonight might be the big night, if everything goes according to plans." _

Jake stared at the crate and stated, _"You have a serious masturbation problem, my friend."_

"_It's better than taking my sexual frustrations out on a parade of one night skanks that I'll never see again." _He concluded, when the girl from the bar pulled the sheets off her head and propped her head up.

"Good morning" He began to walk out the room, embarrassed since he didn't know she was in the room.

"_Hold on there buddy, let me introduce you." _Jake grabbed Eddie turning him around towards the girl and draped his arm over his shoulders.

"_Eddie here is my roommate slash cousin_-" Edward cut him off, "_Technically, not blood related_."

Jake retorted and rolled his eyes "_Hence the slash, and the fact that your as pale as a fucking vampire and I'm a tan sexy russet god." _He smirked

"_Nice to meet you." _The girl replied as she pulled her skirt over her hips.

"_So back to your girl, what's tonight?" _Jake asked

"_Tonight's the night I tell her I love her, Jake, this girl is my soul mate, it's about time she knew that."_

"_Not if you want to fuck her." _Jake stated knowingly in a high pitch _"You, _(pointing to his one night stand) _what's the nicest thing I've said to you since I've met you?" _

(Girl) "Let's see, Uh, _you complimented me on my technique." _She answered with no offense. _J_ake shrugged. "You see."

(Edward)_"Well, I'm not you, I'm not going to con or manipulate her to get in her pants, I'm just going to be myself."_

"_Noooo, your self, is an obsessed head case that beats his meat more often than Rocky Balboa, which is doing anything to make the girl of his dreams like him, such as pretending to be head over heals in love with animals when in fact your allergic to half the species that exist on earth, thus your conning her!"_

"_You don't get it! I love her!" _

Jake stared at his crazy cousin as if he totally lost his mind. _"Your not in love, your in lust, which means you just want to bone her, otherwise, you would be yourself." _

"_Your wrong, you just don't get it" (Eddie)_

"_Your right, I don't get it. So suit yourself, do it the hard way, but you'll be back." (Jake)_

_(Girl) "So I'm going to head out, we can skip this whole I'll call you scenario, right?"_

"_Yeah, I want to knock out for a few more hours anyways, so yeah, peace." _Jake said to the girl as she walked out his apartment following Edward, and Jake returned back to his room throwing his towel on the ground before jumping back into bed.

* * *

EPOV

(Later that night)

I decided tonight I was going to wine and dine Bella, my plan is to take her to the restaurant of her choice, after we get back from the Wolf Haven preservation shelter for endangered wolves. It's a four hour drive from Forks, located in the city of SE Tenino, WA. I would have the whole day with her to prove how we're destined to be together. I just needed to play the best friend card a little longer. Eventually she'll see what's right in front of her.

"_Eddie, this is so sad! We seriously don't need to eat here, we can go somewhere else." _Bella stared at Edward who was cutting a big piece of sirloin steak.

"_What, it's fine, you like steak were eating steak! Whatever makes you happy." _He smiled at her.

"_But you're a Vegan!" _She whined.

"_Not tonight. Eat, Eat, Eats, Enjoy!" _I tried to show how I'd do anything for her as long as it makes her happy. That's when I decided I would just go for it. There's no way she would deny me.

"_God, I love the way you eat, I love THAT you eat, I just love everything, Bella I just…I Love you_!"

She dropped her fork and knife and stared at me in silence. My nerves started getting to me while I awaited her response. I was starting to think this might not have been such a good idea.

"_Edward, we talked about this, we were just going to keep it light, be friends."_

"_Well, what else was I suppose to say? I'm the dude here, I'm suppose to be tough and macho. I couldn't come out and say, that there isn't a second of the day that I don't think of you or that I feel like I can't ever live in a world where you don't exist, because I love you that much_." I sighed.

"_So I truly, madly, deeply love you! Your like my own brand of heroin, that I can't get enough of!" _

She looked at me, "_I don't know what I'm suppose to say here, we've only known each other for two months, we haven't even had sex! How can you be in love with me?"_

"_Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, I think we should take the next step_." She began to look annoyed with me. "_The next step would be being exclusive, we aren't there, you know what, I think you should just take me home." _I felt totally rejected but voiced my feelings once more, "_I thought it just felt right, it feels right doesn't it?"_

"Yes, it feel right, but just not…..right now." She said sadly.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat and called the waiter over with the check.

JPOV

_**Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late. I wrote you 365 letters.  
**__**I wrote you everyday for a year **__**You wrote me? Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over.**_

As I sat there in my leather recliner sipping on a Heineken and eating popcorn. I heard the front door being opened and then quickly slammed. I quickly picked up the remote and shut off **"_The Notebook_**" and wiped the tear from my cheek. I don't know why, but that fucking movie gets to me every time. I'm such a fucking pussy.

Trying to play off the loss of my man card, "_Dude, you cancelled Spice_!"

Hopefully he didn't catch me in my weak moment.

"_Well it cost an extra thirty bucks a month." _He said while throwing his keys on the table and walking to the fridge to grab his self a beer. Looking sad, rejected and disappointed.

"_Looks like you've had a rough night!" _

"Well, I'm Mr. Right, just not Mr. Right now!" He said defeated. "What does that even mean? I told her I loved her….."

"Oh uh no no" I moaned to myself seeing his mistake already and I honestly felt bad, even embarrassed for him.

"What I went in a little early, I know…" I started chuckling to myself, oh he had so much to learn. Such rookie mistakes.

"Wow" he replied sarcastically, obviously annoyed by my laughing. "Thanks for your support." He said while heading into his room and shutting it closed.

"_Eddy, come on, this too shall pass." _I walked to my room and got his porn and started heading back to his bedroom door. "_Eddy, it's okay.. I got your babe crate, you know how much you love your babe crate." _I wanted to make him laugh so I said in a high pitched female voice. "_I'm comfort food for you penis."_

He then opened the door grabbed his crate and asked, _"Okay what do I do?"_

"_Well lets look at your options. You can stalk her, you know you'll never be with her but you can love her from a distance. Never have a family, but you can love her kids from a distance.."_

Cutting me off he suggested, "_Or I can just hire you_."

"_No_," I responded quickly. "_Why_" He asked. "_Because I don't fuck with family"_

He came back, "_Well, technically we're not family"_

"_Your serious_?" I questioned him getting some reassurance. He nodded.

Excitingly "_If I do this, I'm going to make her lose her shit, like a shit collector with amnesia. When I'm done with her she's going to be so upset that she'll cry tears that form call Edward on the ground. Yes, am I doing it? Tell me I'm doing it_!" I was pumped and eager to start this new project. I was going to be the biggest dickhead of life, I couldn't wait.

Then he busted my bubble, "_Wow that was weird, rain check though. Oh my god. I can't believe I almost resorted to your emotional terrorism. Your sweet, but no, next time though."_

I shrugged my shoulder, "Whatever man, I'm here." Laughing at myself I grabbed my beer and turned The Notebook back on. While Edward made his way back into his room making sure to pick up his crate of porn before he shut the door closed. "Don't say a word" He said towards me, grinning at myself and his horniness. I mumbled to myself. _"He'll be back, they always come back."_

I chugged the Heineken and continued the movie where I left off.

* * *

**A/N: What did ya'll think? Do you like it so far? Or should I just stop while I'm ahead. Review, whether it is good or bad.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: These are not my characters and this isn't entirely my plot. I own nothing, just the joy of seeing my Jake in different situations. Sorry for the wait, shit happens. This one's kinda short, but at least it's an update.**_

Chapter 3: **Bait and Tackle**

A few weeks passed and Bella continued to avoid me. At work we would only discuss work related issues. But I did notice that she would flirt with every guy that happened to walk into the office. I felt like a stalker, I watched her every move. She would wear nice tight fitting skirts that accentuated her long sexy legs, under her white lab coat of course. She was sexy as hell, and I desperately needed to get back on speaking terms with her. I was all out of ideas, and decided to do the unthinkable. I called Jake.

He answered on the third ring.

Jake smiled widely once he noticed the incoming call. It was Edward, he definitely caved.

"Did the emotional terrorist win?" Jake answered his phone knowingly while tossing his X-box controller on the couch.

I looked over towards the kennels were Bella stood speaking to a tall Latin man. He was hitting on her while attempted to hold down his cat. Bella was trying to inject the feline, but obviously enjoyed the attention of the buff guy. Her body language confirmed it all. She batted her lashes and tossed her head back in a roar of laughter, as if the guy was a fucking comedian. That's when I snapped and told Jake.

"Just tell me how it works!" I surrendered to whatever bullshit scheme he had in store. If anyone new how to mislead and lure in a women it was definitely Jake. He had his share of women, a real ladies man. This won't be so bad., besides, his asshole tactics have always worked in the past for his other clients. Why would I be any different?

(Next day parking lot of Bella's veterinarian office)

"So, let's make this crystal clear. Before she could love you, she has to hate me. But before she could hate me, she has to like you." Jake said pulling out a cardboard box from the back seat of his black Lincoln Navigator.

"That might be the hardest part of the equation." I responded understanding that getting her to like me or even speak to me again was going to be difficult.

"Anyways, this is where I set up the meet-cue. In every movie the stars meet in some cutesy bullshit way, and since every chick is looking for that dreamy yet witty yet goofy guy, the ones from their romance comedy fantasies, that's the guy I gotta be." He shut his car door and made his way into the building.

"Excuse me sweetie, I'm looking for Bella Swan." He sweet talked the front desk receptionist with the biggest kool-aid smile. Bella who just happened to be making her way down the hall over heard a deep male voice requesting her presence responded, "Who want's to know?" She asked glancing at his tall, tone, and ripped physique from behind. He slowly turned to face her and smiled. He licked his lips enough to tease her and draw her in. He went to reach for her hand to shake it and introduce his self when he tripped on his shoelace and fell face forward. She bent forward and asked if he was okay. He looked up, nodded his head and stood. "Yeah just my usual clumsy self, I'll be okay."

"I'm Jacob Black, by the way." She shook his hand and gazed in his eyes. They remained in that position still gripping each others hands. He knew he already reeled her in, she took the bait. Now he needed to close the deal.

The door chimes brought them out of their gaze. She released his hand. "Nice to meet you Jacob, how can I help you?"

"Well, I was cleaning out the shed in my back yard, when I happened to find these." He returned to the front desk and showed her the contents of the cardboard box. There was two wolf pups, which he knew would catch her attention.

"I was deciding what to do with them when I remembered seeing a flyer at the post office about saving pups. So I went back to the post office got your name and directions and here I am." He put his hands in his front pockets pretending to be shy. She looked in his box and smiled. She reached in and pulled out the russet colored one. "Awww, your such a little cutie aren't you."

I took this opportunity to cleverly show her my charm. "Thanks, your pretty cute yourself." Bella along with the receptionist, looked back at me. Bella blushed and the girl lightly chuckled.

"I really appreciate that you dropped them off with me and didn't abandon them in the forest somewhere."

She put him back in the box. "Wolves are endangered in this area, and I'm trying to save the species, before it's too late. So I can't thank you enough, you've seriously made my day." She smiled truly appreciating his kind gesture.

"It was nothing. I love animals and wouldn't have wanted them in harms way. Well I gotta get to work, but it was nice meeting you." He turned and walked towards the front door. "You too."

But before he completely stepped out he blurted out, "Go out with me."

"I'm sorry?" Bella turned raising her brow wondering if she misunderstood him. He couldn't be asking her out. He was way out of her league, well, in the looks department that is.

"You can thank me by going on a date with me." He slyly responded. Bella thought to herself, what the heck, even if it doesn't turn out good at least she can try and hook up with him. It had been a while, a few months to be exact and she was horny as hell. Shit, even looking at this fine piece of male specimen was making her panties wet. She needed to get laid bad and why not do it with this hottie that was interested. Opportunity only knocks once and I'm going for it.

"Alright," she pulled out a pen and jotted her number on a stick-it. "Call me, here's my number." She placed it in his hand and gave him a sexy grin. "Can't wait." He took it and walked out the door.

Edward waited by Jake's car patiently, "Wow, that fall looked really real." Looking down at his knee, he noticed a bloody scrape. "Is that real?"

Jake responded, "It's real and it hurts."

"Okay, so now what? You come back to check on the pups, slowly gaining her trust?"

Jake cocked his eyebrow and grinned, raising a piece of paper with Bella's number on it, in Eddy's face. "Daddy Bee's got the honey." He gloated after retrieving her number, having just met her. Edward looked at his friend in shock. He was definitely good. "How'd you…" He wondered while Jake got in his car and cut off his question, with a big smile on his face. Jumping in the passenger seat of the Lincoln Edward began to ramble excitedly. "So sticking to the movie classics, maybe you can take her to a fast food joint or a diner, no better, the drive thru."

Jake smacked the back of his cousin's head to stop his rambling.

"Do I tell you what flavor of jam to eat out of your boss's ass? Nooo, Eddy, this is what I do. You gotta trust me, she's not gonna know what hit her." He gave him a serious glare.

"Alright, good luck."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own anything!**

**Chapter 4 Date Night**

_**Bella's House**_

**BPOV**

I stood in front of my closet fidgeting through my clothes, trying to decide what to wear for my date with Jake. My nerves starting to get the best of me after stressing this date all week.

I seriously need to get laid, and this date is my only option. My plan for tonight is to seduce him. I don't just go on random dates with strangers with expectations of using them for my

own sexual satisfaction it is so unlike me. This "date" is for one reason and one reason only, to release my sexual tension that's long over due. After meeting Jake at the clinic something

inside me ignited. I felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode from lust. I've masturbated at least twice everyday imagining his sexy smile and oh so perfect body. He was definitely

sexy as hell and I wanted to jump him the moment I glanced at his perfect hard shaped ass. Unfortunately, fantasizing about all the delicious things I could do to that body wasn't

enough to quench my thirst.

On top of my lusty hormones was the guilt I felt. Here I was planning on seducing a guy for sex when I had a guy like Edward that would willingly offer his assistance. But Edward

obviously wanted more and I'm just not willing to go there. I don't want a relationship. Just casual, drama free smushing, no strings attached. Besides even if I did consider fucking

Edward, it would be pretty awkward. I mean he's like a brother to me, at one point I really did think he was gay. He offered great tips and was always there for me. He was the perfect

best gay friend yet he isn't gay. Okay so he isn't unfortunate looking, if you like the pretty boy types. But I am more of a big hands and big feet kinda girl. I like my men like I like my

coffee, Hot, Sweet, deeply tanned and able to keep me UP all night.

Oh my fucking god! I can't stop these random thoughts from running through my head long enough to find an outfit.

Leah sauntered in my room with a bottle of patron and two shot glasses.

"Do not wear that!" She exclaimed with a disgusted look on her face. Referring to the black dress that looked like a nuns robe I was holding in my hand.

"Leah, what am I doing?" I asked frustrated, hoping she'll help ease my nerves.

Handing me a shot she answered, "You wanna know what your doing? You're cleaning your pipes because it's mandatory to just flush them out after you've been a long relationship."

She pointed at me and winked, she obviously already had a few shots herself.

Totally ignoring her drunken outburst I thought out loud, "that's pretty disgusting" and continued, "No, seriously? Edward's a good guy." I thought taking down three more shots.

"Oh my god, your such a fucking girl! Who the fuck cares if he's a good guy?"

"Leah any normal sane girl would kill for a good guy like Edward, if only I was normal, but…"

Before finishing my sentence she cut me off, "If "ifs" and "buts" were cocks and nuts, I'd be getting gang banged right now." Pulling off my black silky robe exposing my new black lace

lingerie set, she handed me a sexy hither me dress to put on.

"B, I'm gonna teach you something that took me years and years of promiscuity to learn." She walked out the room stumbling on her own feet. "Let me ask you, how many guys you've

slept with, three total right? She yelled from down the hall.

"Two" I corrected her feeling slightly buzzed from the patron.

"Ow" Leah said disappointedly walking back in my room and clutching her chest like it hurt her to learn her best friend was very inexperienced.

"What? I'm shy and I'm a serial monogamist." I giggled at her expression.

"That's your problem right there, didn't you momma ever tell you, you have to suck a few frogs before you get to suck a prince?" I couldn't help but to giggle, since she changed the

words from the quote around. Leah's she a goof. Whoops, hehe someone's kinda tipsy. I laughed at myself.

"You know what?" She exclaimed as if she just thought up the most amazing idea.

"Just pretend it is a year aboard, but instead of going to Europe, you're just going to bang a shit load of dudes." She smiled and nodded her head. "It's amazing!" She said all wide eyed.

I busted out laughing this time, "You are such a guy!"

Realizing I was drunk we continued our witty banter. After a few more rounds of shots the door bell rang.

We both approached the door completely wasted and opened it. We both stepped out hugging and once Leah spotted Jake she said, "How you doin'?" Imitating Joey Tribiani and

wiggling her eyebrows, she laughed and I gave her a drunken kiss on the cheek goodbye, still giggling. "No seriously show her a really really really good time." They both laughed at

there inside joke while Leah closed the door.

**JPOV**

I just stood there dumbfounded. Not expecting the scene that was in front of me.

"She's my roommate" She wobbled down the front steps chuckling.

I decided to start playing my demeaning role.

"I bet she gives good head" I awaited a response with a sly grin on my face. But the reaction I got wasn't what I expected. She grabbed a hold of my shoulder to maintain her balance

and replied.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure she does." Still laughing.

Fuck, "You're pretty drunk?" I questioned but made sure it sounded more like a statement.

"I'm fucking ready to rock!" She laughed and skipped towards my car.

"Oh boy!" I sighed silently. Deciding this was going to be a long night.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so it's kinda short but at least I got something out right? Anyways, the more reviews I receive the quicker I will update. So if you have any ideas on what should go down on ****this date let me know! Also what are your thoughts on Leah?**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: "Meet Your Match"

**JPOV**

So seeing as Eddy's girl was pretty wasted, I realized I had my work cut out tonight. So far she didn't seem to be phased by my verbal bashing of her room mate so I'd just have to kick it up a notch.

We both got in my car avoiding any type of chivalry. She was still giggling.

So before starting the car I explained, "I've got to warn you my stereo is busted."

She replied, "Oh that's cool, that's cool." Smiling and tucking a loose stray hair behind her ear.

I turned the key in the ignition and the stereo blasted. My song of choice for the evening was "I like big butts." I smiled knowing that this song disgusted most women since it degraded and disrespects them. So having to endure it on full blast the whole ride would be extremely annoying and embarrassing.

I bit my lip and bobbed my head to the beat and awaited her reaction. What she did next stunned me.

"Ahhhh…I fucking love this song!" She started dancing in her seat and bobbed her own head and continued her rambling. "You won't believe I almost lost my virginity to this…" Then she joined in on the chorus, "When you make that pussy pop, pop that pussy, Hey! Pop that pussy baby! "She was really into the song.

She stared at me with a sexy grin and I must have looked like a major dumb ass, my mouth gaping open, trying to react to her outburst. This is the first time I've received this reaction, I underestimated her state of drunkenness.

"Okay, let's go." I told her. "Yeah, let's party!" She turned her body towards me and smiled. I pulled out her drive way. So I think I'm going to have to step up my game with this chick. I need to be more aggressive which I love. She'll definitely be a challenge and I never back down from a challenge. So I decided to skip my usual routine which would've been the restaurant.

* * *

"We'll Jake, this is definitely a first." She stated while walking in the strip club and making our way find a seat. I replied, "Yeah me too."

She said, "Wanna sit front row and center?" She sat at the stage without waiting for my response. I sat down next to her. She looked up at the voluptuous naked figure that danced seductively on the pole. "Oh my…" She said while grabbing a hold of her hair and staring at the stripper that had her legs wide open in our direction exposing her special lady parts. The waitress then approached us.

Before she could ask what we wanted. "Yeah can we get two long island ices tea's and put a chop-chop on that lady."

"Can you make mine a double? Oh and two shots of tequila please." She added to the order. She was giving me a sexy grin when the stripper decided to squat in front of her and shake her big ol' tits in her face. She yelled and flirt with the stripper and danced in her seat to the song the Dj was playing, the stripper returned to her post. I cocked my eyebrow at her and just shook my head at this unbelievable scenario playing out. Annoyed at the situation and her placid attitude.

"Okay let's slow down here princess, your getting wasted like it's your prom night."

She just continued to dance in her sit and laughed it off. Then she placed her hand on my thigh and said. "I never went to prom. I had the date, the dress and everything." While she continued her conversation with me I pretended to be uninterested in her story. "I don't care." I stated in a low tone but loud enough for her to hear. But she surprised me yet again by being unaffected at my comment. I pulled out a wad of dollar bills and laid them out one by one on the railing in front of me. "Prom was the night my dog bit my sister in the neck, and we had to put him down. I'll never forget the look of horror in poor fraggle's eyes as his paw went limp in my hand." She retrieved the drink and shots from the waitress and swallowed them whole.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that's not the only thing that's gone limp in your hand." I stated trying to get a rise out of her after that boring story. After she took the shots, she started sipping her drink. "But in all sincerity I got to say that really sucks, it's really sad to lose a pet."

The stripper came back in our view and shook her ass cheeks in front of us.

"How does she do that? I want to learn how to do that." Bella asked amazed at the moves the stripper made.

"Well she's had a lot of practice with me; I taught her a few things." I said looking at her and laughing. She looked right in my eyes and mockingly laughed back. But this time she surprised me with a lustful look in her eye, and that sexy smile.

I decided at that moment since nothing was provoking this girl that I would just be blunt and hope to get arise out of her.

I turned towards her and licked my lips. "I think we should fuck tonight."

She stopped dancing and looked at me. Obviously shocked by my turrets.

Then she placed her head in her hands, looking down. I thought to my self, "Finally!"

But for some weird reason I felt bad treating her like a whore.

But that thought was long forgotten when she started laughing. Okay seriously this chick is fucking scaring me and freaking me out. She grabbed her drink and took out the little umbrella. As I continued staring at her, she grabbed the umbrella and placed it in my ear. "That looks pretty." I replied "Thanks." She tossed her hair back and stated while standing up. "I got to go pee first." Then she walked towards the bathroom. "What the fuck?" I sighed. Realizing that this chick was a major challenge. How the fuck am I gonna get out of this one?

**BPOV**

**(In the bathroom)**

"Where are you?" I decided I would call Leah and ask her opinion after I peed. She answered after a few rings.

"I can't talk, I'm busy." She answered panting. "I'm seeing this band that SuckS!," She yelled that last word, "but I'm seeing them so I can't talk."

"Leah, put your guitar hero down, I've got a dilemma."

"What, as if I'm not playing guitar hero, it's Saturday night, I'm out." She retorted embarrassingly.

"Just put it down! We have problems."

"Alright, alright, what's the story?" She asked sounding truly concerned.

"I am drunk, and he's either the biggest asshole in America, or he's trying to convince me he's the biggest asshole in America. Either way, even a broken clock is right twice a day, but this guy…"

Leah cut me off, "Come on, how better to appreciate Edward then to do this, to bang this guy who's obviously far inferior but probably hung like sea biscuit. Right?"

"Now go, go and bang, bang like you have never banged before. And do it for Edward." With that she finished and ended the call. I just stared at the phone, Leah and her crazy antics.

At the same time a stripper stepped out the stall. "Hey baby doll." I introduced myself and greeted her. She was obviously eavesdropping because she started to lecture me.

"When it comes to love there's only one thing you can trust. It's not your friends; it's not your husband. Its that little voice inside your clam burger!"

I just stared at the stripper as she began to walk out the restroom. But before she walked out she turned and pretended her pussy was talking saying, "Listen to me!" And left giggling.

"Oh my god!" I busted out laughing at the crazy stripper.

Once I walked out the bathroom and saw that Jake was getting a lap dance.

The stripper's ass was right up in his face, he yelled out to me and continued his asshole routine. "Watch this, this is a little game we play," referring to the stripper, "it's called who's at the door and I look out the key hole," he lowered his head pretending her asshole was the key hole, "it's the mailman." God he's such a dick I thought to myself taking my seat. Now she had her back on his chest, rubbing her ass on his cock. He had a kool-aid smile plastered on his face. As he saw me sit down he asked me, "Would it hurt you to hold her tits, come on help me out!" He said biting his lip obviously getting aroused by the dance, he was referring to the no touch rule strip clubs had. The strippers only felt comfortable with other women manhandling them.

Once the stripper got up he handed me the bill and said, "Here, you get that, I'll get dinner," and slyly added "Next time" to the end of the sentence. I responded confirming to him that I indeed caught that. "There won't be a next time." While I reached for my money out my purse. But I remained adamant.

He added, "Well eat me!" as if he wasn't aware that I have caught on to his ploy to stay in asshole character. I just laughed sarcastically at him. I paid the bill and he finished off his dance.

We made it to my house, he continued his rant. Going on about something disrespectful who knows? I wasn't listening. I got out the car and so did he, we met up at the sidewalk. I couldn't take his rambling anymore.

"Okay, stop I get it! You're a dick! I was officially offended."

With that he got quiet and so did I. I looked at him up close, since we were standing merely a foot apart. He was gorgeous, his eyes were hypnotizing and his smile was making me wet. I decided to hell with it, he might be an asshole, but I'm horny and not interested in making him my man.

We just continued looked at each other and his smile faded. I'm not sure what it was but his face changed, he didn't hold that fierce look any longer. He actually looked vulnerable? Worried? I'm not really sure. At that moment something sparked. Staring at his lips made me stand on my tippy toes since he's so tall, and wrap my arms around his neck and I pulled him in for a kiss.

He reacted by wrapping his strong arms around my waist, with a tight embrace.

The kiss, it was so passionate, but sweet. It made me feel butterflies. It lasted a few minutes. I decided to break apart, so that we can take this inside. If not I would jump him right there.

**JPOV**

We just stood there staring at each other. Pleased with myself at succeeding my task. I smiled still acting cocky, but for some reason staring down at her I got hypnotized in her chocolate brown eyes. She was extremely beautiful and I don't know why I didn't realize it before. Then she did something unexpected. She wrapped her arms around my neck and started to kiss me. My body just reacted. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her up towards me, so that I didn't have to bend down. I was entranced with her kiss. It was different, it was slow and sweet and passionate. It was nice. My thoughts were lost and my heart started pounding faster. It was taking over, along with all the butterflies flapping around in my stomach. Her smell was intoxicating.

She moaned trying to break our kiss. Which I didn't want to stop, and I could sense that she didn't either. So I let her down and she walked backwards, trying to release the kiss, but I kept a hold own. She also pulled me with her. But finally we broke hesitantly.

I was still looking at her lips, and she turned around and was walking towards her door. She looked at me and asked, "You coming up?"

I suddenly remembered who I was just kissing and what she was asking snapped me out of my stupor.

Adjusting myself in my pants I just looked at her and pointed at myself, confused if she was asking me. But our little kiss had me quite speechless. I battled with myself and tried to find the words to explain why I couldn't join her. But they never came I just said, "Ahh….." My body wanted to go, even my heart was telling me to go. But my mind was trying to win this battle. Shit! Why? I want to finish that kiss soooo badly, but who am I kidding? I can't do this. This is Eddy's girl. But why? Why does this happen now? None of the other girls ever affected me like this. But Bella, she was different. I don't know why.

She just stood there questioning my sanity, seeing that I was having a battle with my self. Then she just looked at me as if I was retarded. Here she was, reassuring me that it was a sure thing, a done deal and I was denying her. She must think I'm gay or a pussy. Shit! Why?

"Okay, suit yourself?" She stood opening her door and before she went in she stated while laughing, "Enjoy the long drive home." She smiled teasingly.

Struggling with my body, I paced in front of my car. I kept feeling a pull towards her, trying to get me to run after her. But I had to force myself to get in the car. "I gave my self a pep talk. "I'm going home, and why am I going home? Because I'm going home. I'm getting in the car. Eyes…in the game.. and the head in the ball. I can do it"

I sat in my car, "Just start the car, just start the car. You gotta get the fuck outta here, you know why? Because your head is in the game, your balls are attached. Your gonna go home and maybe she'll call you manana. But why would she call me? She'll call Eddy, and why? Because she's what? Eddy's girl! Follow the bouncing ball….She…is …Eddy's …..girlfriend."

Listen to me! Talking to myself! What the hell did she do to me? I continued laughing hysterically while pulling out the driveway.

* * *

**BPOV**

I stood at the window just staring at Jake in his car. "What is wrong with you asshole?" I sighed out extremely annoyed at being rejected for a sure thing. I picked up to phone and began dialing.

* * *

**JPOV**

I entered my apartment calmly, the drive helped. When I closed the door shut I was nervous because Edward was standing there, sipping a beer.

"You asked me to trust you. And I trusted you." Shit he must know what went down, he'll never forgive me. I'm such a dick, fuck! He continued.

"Somehow, somewhere," He paused. "Thank you!" He smiled and hugged me. Leaving me confused.

"Dude! You did it! She just called saying quote "I just had the worst night of my life!"

"And guess what? We're having lunch tomorrow. Can you believe it? Seriously when it comes to being an asshole, you're a genius! A fucking genius!" He laughed and hugged me again.

"Yeah, yeah, anything for a friend." I told him, trying to convince my self.

* * *

**A/N: Leave some loving, whether good or bad! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: These are not my characters, and this isn't entirely my plot. I own nothing, just enjoy a bad ass Jake. Sorry for the wait, but I had computer problems, and some laziness. You know life gets in the way. **

Chapter 6 **"Second Chance"**

(Following day)

**EPOV**

I couldn't sleep all night. I continuously tossed and turned with thoughts of Bella. Just to think in a few short minutes she will be back in my arms, actually she was never really there to begin with but you catch my drift. Jake actually pulled this shit off. I can't fucking believe it. I've got to thank him, and what better way to thank him then by letting him be my best man at our wedding. Shit, there I go again, getting ahead of myself. I can't fucking help it though Bella is finally going to be mine. When she called me last night she was outraged. She told me all about her date from hell she was furious and needed a shoulder to cry on, so I was there. After our talk she said she needed to discuss something with me in person, so I suggested we meet for brunch, so here I am picking at my bread roll, anxiously awaiting her arrival.

"Hey stranger, sorry I'm late but my sister is having a crisis, she's getting married soon and I'm her maid of honor. I've been caught up doing maid-of-honor duties." She rolled her eyes and pulled back her chair and took her seat, clearly annoyed that she had bridezilla for a sister.

"It's okay, I'm just glad you called." I said smiling at her as she gave her meal order to the waiter.

"So anyways, the reason I called is because I wanted to say I was sorry for the other night,-"

"I was stupid, I was stupid." I added cutting her off wanting to explain myself. "It's just I've never gone this far with a girl, um I mean emotionally, and I just lost it.-"

"Slow down, listen you don't need to apologize, I was wrong, stupid and harsh, and I'm sorry." She smiled at me genuinely and continued, "Last night, I went out with a real asshole, and it just made me realize that guys like you are so rare." I couldn't believe that this was it, she finally opened her eyes to what was right in front of her all along. I couldn't help but smile at her with the biggest grin of my life. I feel ecstatic and I just want to jump across the table and kiss her. But I won't because it'll probably scare the shit out of her.

"But I also realized how few guys I've dated, how few guys I've actually gone out with, like none. I need to date and you need to date, other people. What I'm trying to say is- I want to start over but as friends first, be friends because I like you but as my friend."

And just like that she busted my bubble. I just sat there dumbfounded, with my mouth gaping open. No words escaped my lips, I just stared at her, while she stared back. She obviously had no clue how much this was killing me. This is so not how I saw today going, shit!

"Start over, as friends first, like Harry and Sally?" I said laughing even though I'm dying inside, but I can't let her know that. Then she put her finger up correcting my past phrase, "Uh, I think the point of that movie is that men and women can't just be friends."

"No no no it means they can be friends, even date other people, as long as they end up together in the end, right? As long as they end up together?" I questioned unsure of her response.

She answered back, oviously being weirded out. "Uhhh yeah, well um this was fun, I ahh I'm gonna go, because my sister is getting married, and this is sort of an on again off again relationship and she's freaking out so she's treating me like her assistant having me run all over the place." We both sat there looking at our plates waiting for the waiter to bring the check. I needed to try and break the ice and hope to sense some sort of affirmation that she was not sticking me in the friend zone.

"So this was fun, I'm really glad we had this talk." She just nodded and called for the check again loudly, I might add.

* * *

**JPOV**

_Hi Jacob Black, customer satisfaction. How may I help you today?_

_(Furious Customer)Excuse me do you have any idea how long I was just on hold, it's been like an hour and a half! _

"You lose, you lose!" I stood up totally ignoring the caller on the line and yelled at Seth over my cubicle. He yelled, "You suck!" back at me. I beat him at another game of Madden. Putting my controller back down I returned to my furious customer on the line.

_Sir, I would gladly give you a refund, but that's not gonna solve your problem.  
_  
I stated in my most monotone voice, I truthfully didn't give a flying fuck what this guys issue was I just wanted him off the phone so I can get back to my game and beating Seth's punk ass. I really hate this job, but it's only part time, easy money, and kill's time.

While annoyingly agreeing to everything this customer said I started getting a call from Eddy. I was dying to find out how his brunch went with what's her face, hopefully his pansy ass got some pussy, but first I gotta get rid of this douche bag on the line.

_"Sir, I was actually looking into the problem and good news! It'll actually fix it self. Have a nice day." _

Hanging up the call I answered my cell. "Sup dude?"

"You failed Jake! She wants to see other people." He roared into the mouthpiece, piercing my eardrum.

"Whoa, wait what? She said she wants to see other people?" That's just crazy, I never fail.

"Yeah, uh huh she did. And that's why your gonna take her out again, except this time your gonna get seriously diabolical, I mean public defecation,-"

"Whoa Eddy, calm the fuck down your seriously freaking out. Tanking is a subtle art, you can't go in there crazy like a dragon with a hemorrhoid, besides what makes you think she'll ever want to speak to me again?" I questioned awaiting his response.

The line was silent for a while and then he replied, "Don't worry, I'm taking care of it."

_-Eddy hung up the phone with a smirk and watched across the hall from his office as Bella received a bouquet of roses, which he sent to her as a gift from Jake_

Holy fucking shit, what the fuck does he mean by that? Shit I'm fucking late. "No, no your not! Eddie seriously don't do anything stupid. Listen, I got to teach a training seminar like ten minutes ago. Hello?"

Shit the dumb fuck hung up on me. I quickly grabbed my electric razor and my notes and started making my way to the conference room while shaving my face. I woke up too late to do this shit this morning.

Seth yelled teasingly, "Your late Jake!"

"I know!" I yelled back.

"Your Jake right?" This little fat fucker asked jumping in front of me on my was down the hall.

"You a cop?" I fucked with him and pressed my razor against his neck, probably making him shit in his pants.

"No my friend said you fix things!" I withdrew my weapon from his neck and smiled.

"Walk with me." I replied.

He began explaining, "I'm going crazy without her, like shit in the bed roll around in it crazy!" He showed me a pic of her wearing a rosary in a church. The perfect date scene popped in my head.

"Okay she's a religious girl, I know where to take her but how do I bump into her?

"Well she's a high school English teacher, there's that." He answered.

"I can't really hang around a high school these days, unfortunately." I smirked.

"Well she gets her hair done on Tuesdays." He blurted out.

"Love it, well quick tell me what did you do? Did you put your foot in your mouth? Put your foot long in somebody else's mouth? Fast, information." I snapped my fingers trying to speed up the conversation since I'm late.

"Let's just say your gonna have to be a real asshole to make me look good." We both stopped right in front of the conference room doors.

This had me laughing, "It's what I do." I stepped away and through the doors into the training seminar.

"Everybody, your late! Don't let it happen again." I yelled at the loser trainees gazing at me from their seats.

"I'm Jake and I will be brief, here at Air Master there are only two rules. No Refunds! The beauty of an air purifier is nobody can prove that it doesn't work." I explained putting on my headpiece.

"So I'm gonna show you how it's done. This will be the best training your ever gonna get."

"Ok so I need a furious customer to be patched through, okay Lauren. So who you got for me baby?" I asked the secretary.

She replied, "I've got just the one for you Jake she's furious, and she asked for you personally.

"Okay, put her through." I stretched my arms and cracked my neck anxious to show these pansies how it's done.

It was time for my fake falsetto so I cleared my throat, while the room full of trainees supervised my conversation.

"Jacob Black, customer satisfaction. How can I help you?" I began my conversation with the furious caller.

A female voice began speaking, "Before we even discuss what I just received, which is a whole other mystery, I demand an explanation for yesterday."

Jake being totally clueless to his female caller responded. "Mam' fully concerned, tell me what happened yesterday?" He gave a cocky grin to the class who were listening in to the conversation, pretending to be concerned.

"Are you gay? Or are you just an asshole?" The caller disputed.

"Oh, mam' profanity is superfluous, because no verbal affront could be as devastating to me as your dissatisfaction." Faking my innocence and concern in her well being.

"Dissatisfaction?" She questioned in awe. I replied to her obvious frustration.

"Yes, if your unit's performance or lack there of has left you…. Frustrated…" She cut me off.

"You see, I never saw your unit, I gave you your chance and you didn't deliver." She wondered if he was insane.

"Mam', your upset, I'm upset. I'm upset that you will never ever know what it's like to sit on a hot sweaty summer night and let that unit blow its glorious bounty, all over your face." I laughed it sounded so kinky.

"Whoa! You think that after the shit you put me through, that I called just so you can talk dirty to me? I gave you a one time free hall pass for sex, good sex, hot sex, I…I…I…fucking roofied myself, for god's sake." She yelled furiously.

Okay what the fuck, who's this chick?

"Um.." My voice cracked a little. "I'm a little confused"

"Confused, well that makes two of us, because I don't know what kind of asshole acts like an asshole and when it actually comes down to be an asshole, walks away! Like a total ASSHOLE! Making me look like an even bigger asshole for offering some big ass asshole sex in the first place." She stopped and sighed, then yelled. "What kind of asshole are you?" Then she hung up on me.

The entire room broke into a fit of laughter, after witnessing me getting my ass chewed.

I whispered to the entire room, "That was actually a personal caller."

And the fat dude from earlier witness the whole scene yelled across the room. "Dude! You are so hired."

"Excuse me everyone." I said walking out the room feeling a little embarrased. I can't believe she just made me look like a total ass in front of everyone, not only that but now everyone thinks I'm a fucking fruit for denying a women sex. Fuck this shit, I'm gonna put little Miss cocksucker in her place.

* * *

As soon as my shift ended I made my way to her apartment. I knocked on her door and she opened a few seconds later. As soon as she saw it was me she said, "Sorry, offer expired!." While slowly slamming the door in my face. Stupid bitch I can't believe she just did that shit, doesn't she know who I am? I knocked again.

She reopened the door and spoke before I could even get a word out.

"Did you really think that roses and a poem would give you a second chance?" What the fuck Eddie really has no clue about women. What was he thinking? A fucking poem for fuck's sake?

I replied, "I just felt bad because your right as you mentioned on the phone earlier I do owe you an explanation. The reason that I didn't sleep with you is because your not attractive. There, I said it."

"Oh thanks, thank you so much because you saved me from what could've possibly been the worst decision of my life." She finished crossing her arms and stood staring at me.

"Oooh 1-0, honey your below my standards even for a one night pity fuck, and I've taken down some real hogs Bella." I took a step closer to her to intimidate her.

"Yeah, hogs, cows, sheep's. I bet your sex life is a regular heavy petting zoo." She uncrossed her arms and took a step towards me.

"You know what? Truthfully, your what we call a two bagger, that means I have to wear a bag on my head, just incase the one on yours breaks." Another step leaving us face to face.

She stood silent with a pensive look on her face. "Are you sure it's not just a size thing? Cuz it's gotta be tough standing on a urinal pissing on your own testicles."

A nervous laugh escaped my throat. Standing over her since she was so tiny which left her staring up at me.

"Well, at least I can hide my shame in my pants. What really sucks is having an ass the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey!"

Suddenly out of nowhere she slaps me not once but three times and I can't help realizing that I'm fucking hard as fuck. She's got me totally horny. And those slaps just got me fucking hotter. While I'm biting my lip and glaring at her, she grabs my hands and pushes them on her ass for me to grab.

She asks, "You think this is too big?"

So I grab her hands and put it on my raging hard on and ask her, "You still think this is too small?"

A moan escapes her lips and she crashes them with mine by gripping my hair and pulling on it hard pulling me down to her mouth. She then jumped in the air and wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked us inside making sure to close the door behind me.

* * *

**A/N: So leave me a review with your thoughts, hope the wait was worth it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: OKAY SO THIS UPDATE WAS QUICKER THAN THE REST MAINLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA BE CRUEL AND CLIFFHANG YOU LIKE THAT. SO HERE YOU GO, AN AWAITED LEMON. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT'S MY FIRST SO BE KIND. **

**ALSO I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHOSE REVIEWED. I'M GLAD YOUR ENJOYING IT, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE BEST WRITER. I ALSO CAN'T PROMISE HE NEXT UPDATE WILL BE AS QUICK. BUT I'LL TRY.**

Chapter 7 Rough-Housing

**BPOV**

This prick had the audacity to show up at my door, un-announced, and insult me. How dare he say I was not attractive! I'm a bad fucking bitch and I know I look good. I don't know whatit is but his cockiness and verbal assault is a fucking major turn on and I can't help but get excited, as in soaking wet. On top of that he showed up in a black tank top and jeans looking absolutely mouthwatering. I'm in serious need of dick. Something about this prick turning me down the first time has me hot and bothered. How can he not want me? How can he turn me down after clearly enjoying our kiss from the date. It must be a size thing. His rejection has left me feeling undesirable and that wasn't gonna cut it. Two can play this game so why not hit him where it hurts. I know, how about I bruise his ego a little bit.

_"Are you sure it's not just a size thing? Cuz it's gotta be tough standing on a urinal pissing on your own testicles." _I said looking up at his huge form. Then he started laughing and glared down at me with the sexiest smirk and spoke.

_"Well, at least I can hide my shame in my pants. What really sucks is having an ASS the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey!"  
__  
_  
Oh my fucking god this pencil dick did not just call me a fat ass. My body automatically reacted and I slapped him not once but three times. Making me even wetter than before. Feeling the need to prove to him that I did not have a fat ass I grabbed his large hands and wrapped them around my waist to grab each one of my butt cheeks. Then stood right up in his face and asked.

_"You think this is too big?"  
_

Then he did something even more unexpected. He grabbed my hand and roughly placed it on his massive erection. Warmth worked its way down my body and straight to my core. The thrill of his raging hard on in my grasp gave me such a thrill and made me crave him even more. This has got to be the biggest cock I have ever touched in my life.

_"You still think this is too small?" _He enticed me by licking his lower lip which inticed the release of all my restraint and inhibitions. A moan escaped my lips and I threw my hands in his hair, grabbing it roughly and pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him passionately. I want him and I'm gonna have him. I'm so fucking aroused by this man and all of his appealing demeanor_.  
_

He kissed me back hard with fervency. He ravaged my mouth with his sending waves of pleasure throughout my body. His kiss stimulated every cell in my body. The heat of his body pressed up against mine sent shivers down my spine. My pussy throbbed with anticipation, making me moan loudly into his mouth. I needed to feel more and my body reacted to his physical stimulation by jumping into his embrace and wrapping my legs around his torso, grinding my core against his erect member. He then walked through the door shutting it closed with his foot. His hands started moving up under my tank top, and while he slammed me roughly against the hallway wall. He then pulled back, breaking our kiss, and practically ripped the tank top off of me and attacked my neck and jaw with his tongue and luscious lips.

I responded with the exploration of every curve of his muscular upper body. My hands made their way down his chest and underneath his tank top to touch his beautiful russet tone skin. It was so warm and soft, yet hard as well. I threw my head back while he attacked my neck with his passionate kisses and light nibbles along the length of my collarbone. I continued grinding my pussy against his cock eliciting a moan and a rough thrust from him.

He begged, _"Where's your room?" _I replied with a point of my finger and he bagan making his way there breaking our kiss. He didn't release me though and I took advantage and nibbled on his earlobe. I then whispered in his ear, "_Let's see if that tiny little dick of yours can scratch my itch."_

Entering my room he growled and threw me on my bed, but I sat up. _"Oh trust me once you feel this monster, you'll be begging me for more, you'll see there's nothing little about me"_

He kneeled in front of me, his hands groped my breast and he rubbed his thumb over my nipples through my bra, I practically came right then. He then reached behind my back and unsnapped my bra, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor."Fuck yeah," he muttered under his breath when he saw my tits, and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. I gasped and felt a flush rising up me, as he sucked and tongued my nipples, biting them gently. My pussy was on fire and begging for attention, my panties getting damper and damper as he ravaged my body.

"I'm so wet," I moaned out loud, throwing my head back. He stopped sucking my nipples and looked at me for a minute, staring into my lust filled eyes. Then he grabbed my ass and flipped me up across the bed, throwing me onto the bed landing on my back. He stood up and pulled his shirt off, and I saw that his being toned and muscular extended to his chest and stomach too. He was stunning. His eight pack was dying to be licked. The look of lust in his eye was unmistakable.

_"Take those off," _he demanded, pointing at my jeans. I wanted nothing more myself, so I scrambled to do so. I fumbled for a few seconds before he reached down and pulled hard at the zipper area, pulling the jeans off me, and taking my panties down with them. He pulled his pants and boxers off too, revealing all his glory. It had to be the biggest, hardest cock I had ever seen.

Distracted by his beatiful manhood he managed to ask, _"See something you like?" _I groaned in agreement, I definitely see something I like so I went to reached for it.

But Jake had other plans in mind however, and he grabbed my wrist that reached for his member hard and pushed me back down against the bed. Then he reached down for my other wrist and held them tight together. He pinned both my hands above my hand with one of his, while the other roughly massaged my breast. He had his gorgeous face in front of mine. He expelled a breath and demanded, "_Be a good girl and tell daddy how badly you want his big fat cock inside of that tiny wet and firm pussy of yours." _He slowly slid his dick through the crevice of my pussy lips. He rocked slowly, teasing me. He nibbled on my ear and moaned lightly in my ear proving that the sensation was making him come undone as well. His cock slid smoothly with no hesitation being completely lubricated with my sweet juices. He repeated this action awaiting my submission.

I moaned, "_ fuck the shit out of me with that big fat cock of yours_." He growled and without any pretence he slammed his cock into me, stretching my tight pussy and making me arch my back and scream.

_"This is what you wanted, isn't it? Huh? Is this what you wanted?" _he asked me, pounding into my pussy hard, my legs wrapped around his back.

"_Oh fuck yesssss," _I groaned, as he kissed my neck and tightened his grip on my wrists.

_"I knew this is what you wanted since you saw me standing at you doorway baby," _he told me, _"And what kind of guy would I be if I don't give you the fucking you deserve," _H e continued pumping into me harder still, his cock rubbing my g-spot over and over again, my vision began getting blurry, I had no idea how loud I was being, I just knew that I had never been fucked so good like this in my life and I came hard, "_Jake_," screaming his name, my coochie muscles tightened around his cock and strained against his grip on me, he pumped me even harder the tighter I squeezed making him groan deeply. He was right about one thing, after the fourth orgasm my mind wasn't right, and I was begging him for more, moaning, groaning, screaming for more. His balls were slapping hard against my ass, and each time I came he pounded me harder.

Our bodies were dripping wet from sweat, he looked into my eyes and said_,"Damn you feel so damn good." _his voice coming out of breath and strained.I responded by arching my back to get him deeper into me, his hard, deep thrusts increasing, his groaning getting deeper and more rough.

_"Come for me again," _he demanded again, attacking my mouth with his, slamming in and out of my pussy, pounding me, hitting my g-spot just right. I couldn't help but oblige, and I saw stars when I came this time, my pussy squeezing so tight around him that he almost had to stop thrusting. I could tell he was close too, and when I came down from my orgasm he pulled out of me fast.I looked at him questioningly once realizing he was about to come I crawled towards his cock and started to suck it, wanting to taste him completely. I sucked hard, tasting both of us, and he grabbed the back of my head as he came, exploding in my mouth, grunting. I swallowed as much as I could and licked my lips to get the rest. He was watching me as I swallowed his cum, panting, exhausted from fucking the shit out of me, so hard, for so long. He collapsed on the bed next to me. I was completely spent too, my pussy sore, but in a wonderful way."_Ain't nothing better than hot angry sex_," he confirmed catching his breath and pulling me to his chest, "_Even with a small dick like mine." _He smirked knowing that he definitely dicked me down.

* * *

**JPOV**

I quietly entered my apartment silently praying that Eddie was fast asleep. Tonight I screwed up big time. I fucked my best friend's girl. I'm definitely going to hell for this one. To be honest I'm not even really sorry. Yeah I'm sorry it had to go down like this, but I don't regret shit. That was the best lay of my life. Besides she didn't want Eddie, she told him herself. She only wanted to be friends. In a way I did him a favor, he's better off without her.

This long night calls for a beer. So I opened my frig and retrived a cold one. As I shut the door the kitchen light came on and I jumped. I turned to see Eddie looking like a hot mess in his flannel pjs.

_"So you said do nothing, but I did something totally small. I sent her a couple hundred bucks worth of roses, and a kick as poem, short but sweet. No big deal, did she call?" _He anxiously waited my reply.

I lied my ass off, "_No she didn't, listen Eddie these women man, they have a way of getting in our head and I'm telling you right now, I'm going to give you some fresh perpective. This girl, I'm getting a hunch, she's built for destruction. You can't trust her, you know who we have to trust Eddie? Eachother." _I said trying to hide my nervousness from him. Hopefully he falls for this bull and gets over her, then I won't feel like a lousy dick. _"Yeah, it's time you let her go, you know, move on."_

He wasn't falling for it. "_You want me to let her go? You want me to move on? You want me to give up? That's what you actually want me to do? Hehe Well that doesn't quite work for me." _His tone a little louder sounding slightly annoyed. _"Look, I'm not some sort of massagenist, that can just swap out women like they were batteries, okay? I love her Jake, I care more about this girl then I do myself, and you will never understand that." _He continued his rant pacing the kitchen. I replied "_Yeah it's new to me_." With a little double meaning behind the words.

"_She said she want's to be friends, huh_." He laughed. "_You know what? I'll give her a friend. I'll be the best goddamn friend she's ever had." _He retreated back to his room.

Okay I'm totally clueless here but I know that this can't be good.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: These are not my characters, and this is not entirely my plot. I own nothing, just enjoy a bad ass Jake. Sorry for the wait, but I had computer problems, and some laziness. You know life gets in the way. So fair warning, this is a filler but hopefully entertaining. I just wanted to get something out since it's been so long.**

Chapter 8

**BPOV**

Weeks had passed since that amazingly liberating sexual night of passion with Jake. I could not be happier with my life. I finally found a sexual partner that definitely lived up to my expectations. Not only is he hung like a horse but also has a body of a Greek god, which certainly added to the animal attraction between us. He definitely had mad skills in the bedroom. Sex with him was out of this world.

Even though he was a complete ass, the sex between us ruled out all the negative innuendos he spoke. However, the truth was that I did not give a flying fuck. He was only around for one thing which was to satisfy my sexual needs, to be my personal booty call.

I can agree that Leah's suggestion that I sleep around was pure genius. Even though I might come off as a slut, at least I am always on an endorphin induced high. Having Jake as my booty call has its privileges and benefits, sex. On top of everything is the fact that I do not have to deal with all the baggage that comes with being involved with someone. Which made me free to do as I pleased and did not have to deal with all the drama that came with a relationship. With one quick text, I had Jake at my beckon call. When I needed or wanted to fuck, he offered his services to help alleviate my tension, no strings attached.

That is what are agreement consisted of and we definitely used each other for our own desires. We fucked constantly and everywhere possible. Life was pure bliss.

The downside of the past few weeks was an extremely annoying yet persistent Edward. His whole persona changed. It almost seemed as though his life's mission was to serve me. First, his acts of kindness were so sweet; he would bring me coffee and donuts, assuring that I always had it before I began my day. Then his little kind gestures started to bug me, I began assuming he is possibly mentally ill. His constant ass kissing was becoming disturbing. He would show up everywhere I went, the grocery store, jogging, bathroom breaks at work. Lurking around every corner stood Edward with a smile and surprised look on his face as if our constant run-ins with each other were coincidental. You can say I had my own personal stalker.

I seriously considered having an intervention with him since his actions mimicked a drug addiction, me being the drug of choice. He was working too hard to maintain our friendship. Which worries me, he seems to have faith that I will come around.

However, it is far from the truth. Even though he is sweet and kind and everything a girl would want in a man, there is one thing missing. Chemistry. What we have is a strong friendship. He is my best friend, one that I could count on for anything. I had to stop leading him on.

**EPOV**

Something is not right. I have been doing everything possible to show Bella what a great friend I am and I am still coming up short, I just do not get it. Lately she has seemed somewhat distracted. She normally calls just to chat, but the phone calls were becoming non-existent. So here I am, in my living room, sipping on a cold beer in the dark thinking of my next move. Jake opened the front door and closed it silently, probably trying not to wake me since it is four in the morning. Jake has been working a lot too lately, he has been extremely busy and I have not had a chance to see him. Every time we would start talking he would get a call and quickly attend to whomever it was that would call. Seeing as he was here now I decided it was the best time to get his opinion on my situation, I think Bella might be seeing someone and Jake knows everything there is to know about women so he is the guy to ask.

"She is seeing someone_." _I stated rather than questioned.

Jake turned on the lights. He seemed startled from my abrupt dialogue.

"Eddy, what the fuck are you doing? You are starting to scare the shit out of me. Why are you sitting in the dark like a vampire, you creepy weirdo?"

"She's seeing someone. She never wants to hang out with me at night, I always get her voicemail after ten, she is seeing someone and I'm going to find out whom." I told him throwing my empty beer bottle in the trash.

"You know what? I am going to take back that creepy weirdo because you are obviously giving me a full-blown serial psycho killer vibe. Its intervention time, look at me."

He said jolting my movement with a hand on my shoulder.

"It's time to forget about Bella. It's time to wipe the cobwebs off your cock and stick it in something."

Laughing at his suggestion that I screw someone else, I had to let him know that that was out of the question.

"I don't think Bella would be cool with that." He grabbed my face with both his hands and spoke directly to my face.

"OMG, Eddy, please! You definitely do not need her permission, what you need is to get laid. And if you would just listen to me, I can make it happen."

Staring at him I decided, why the hell not? My babe crate was getting old and I was tired of jacking off. Bella will be mine in time but it wouldn't hurt to get some action in the meantime. She'll never have to know.

**JPOV**

Walking into my apartment last night, I nearly had a heart attack. When Eddy said she was seeing someone, my guilt was at an all time low. I have been fucking Bella non-stop for the pass few weeks. Whenever she would call, I would go running. I was like a trained little puppy, there at her beckon call. Even though it was wrong and I might be hurting my friend in the long haul, I just could not stop. There is something special about Bella, and I am not sure what it is. Maybe the fact that I am being used like her own sexual blow up doll has something to do with it. There is just something about not being needed only used for sexual gratification that was a major turn on.

After trying to convince him to get over Bella, he finally caved.

He needed to clean up his act, but first we needed to clean up his look.

"This is one of the most important things any man can do for himself" I informed him while walking into the hair salon.

"A haircut?" He questioned while looking at me as if I had grown a dick on my forehead.

"Yes, Eddy, a haircut. Seriously, you look like Chewbacca and Sash squash had a baby, and that baby took a shit, and that shit was blinded in a knife fight, moments before styling your hair."

"That's harsh." He complained looking like a wounded puppy.

"Appointment for Edward Cullen" I informed the receptionist.

"Yes right this way."

* * *

**EPOV**

"Dude, I can't believe you made me spend $85.00 on a haircut."

(_Hairdresser)_"Actually it's $110.00."

"Yeah, that's right and in return I'm going to get you a date with let's just call her a confidence booster, a slow fat one down the middle." Jake said to Eddy while bringing his cell to his ear.

"I hope that's a baseball metaphor."

"This pitch is right near real house, grand slam, upper deck, game over. Hey beautiful,.." He said while walking away from me to talk privately.

Looking at myself in the mirror I noticed a few hairs that needed to be plucked, a uni-brow was close to forming.

"Um… excuse me… uh I have these….." I said pointed to my forehead. "You think you can um….yeah?" She looked it over and agreed while she began plucking.

"Shit, ow!" Stopping her from continuing I questioned whether there were any other options for solving my uni-brow problem. She went to grab the electric razor, while Jake returned to my side.

"Guess what, we are all set for tonight." He informed me while the hairstylist came back with razor in hand and she began to pass the razor.

"Jake, what do you think about frosting my tips?"

"What are you mini-wheat? Listen, this girl's not Bella, she's got a bed built for sex, not stuffed animals." I don't ever remember telling him the Bella collected stuffed animals.

"Wait, how do you know that Bella has stuffed animals on her bed?" I questioned while turning to face him, completing forgetting the woman trimming my eyebrows.

"Uh oh" She whispered while I returned my focus to the mirror with my reflection. Freaking out I touched my hairless eyebrow, "OMG"

"This stuff happens in salons sometimes Eddy, it's fixable, tell him it's fixable." Jake spoke to the hairdresser for much needed reassurance.

"My eyebrow, OMG, where's my eyebrow?" Omg I look like an albino freak.

Jake continued his rant, "You know maybe make-up, or, or maybe some god damn eyebrow toupee?" He whispered to the hairdresser, "Please help me out?"

"OMG, where's my eyebrow? Oh God, Oh god, please kill me , just kill me!"

As if the situation couldn't get any worse some gay fucker, I'm guessing another employee decided to speak seeing as my freak out had caught the attention of the entire salon.

"Now that's a new look." Nevertheless, Jake asked him, "You can fix it right?"

"Oh sure, why don't we just pop back into my De Lorean. It's in the back…" He answered sarcastically.

"Fuck, my fucking mother!" I yelled. "Fucking kill me!"

"Look Eddy, unless one's missing nobody's going to notice." He said while shoving me back in the chair. "You're going to have to be brave man." He stated while handing me the razor.

"OMG" I cannot believe this is the only solution. I can't fucking believe this shit. Why do these things have to happen to me? Finally working up all my courage I decided to be like Nike and just do it.

"Holy fucking shit!" I screamed like a little bitch before fainting.


	9. AN NOT AN UPDATE

Authors Note:

This message is for those of you that have enjoyed my story up until now, and have reviewed. I'm not abandoning the story I'm just currently without MY laptop, which has MY WHOLE life on it. The battery connection is broken thankfully because of my 2 year old. ;) Until it's fixed or I can use the comp without it shutting off I wont be updating. Sorry. Hope to continue as soon as possible especially since watching bits and pieces of Breaking Fail online. Which I swore not to do. ;( And now I'm sad and determined to imagine it never was written, or even existed.

XOXO

Jacobzlover ;)


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